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This Week on TV (11/1-11/7)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy's Programming Schedule.)

MONDAY (11/1)

  • Rules of Engagement (CBS, 8:30 p.m.): "Jeff and Adam invent a game involving the heads of mannequins." The episode will feature special appearances by Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall.
  • The Women of SNL (NBC, 9 p.m.): "The spotlight shines on the female performers of Saturday Night Live in a showcase that features memorable past sketches and original skits." Shouldn't Lorne Michaels be focused on making one show a week good?
  • Mario Lopez: Saved by the Baby (VH1, 10:30 p.m.): Series premiere. "Mario's girfriend Courtney Mazza is pregnant, and the couple prepare for parenthood. In the opener, the baby is three months away, and Mario hasn't quite grasped becoming a daddy." He's still trying to figure out that moment when he slipped up.

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This Week on TV (10/25-10/31)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy's Programming Schedule.)

MONDAY (10/25)

  • Little People, Big World (TLC, 8 p.m.: "Matt has a large replica of Noah's Ark brought to the farm, despite Amy's protests." At least he'll have something to sleep in.
  • Gossip Girl (CW, 9 p.m.): "Jenny returns to the Upper East Side when she gets a chance to meet Tim Gunn (appearing as himself)." Taylor Momsen together with Tim Gunn? This concerns me.
  • The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 10 p.m.): "Mired in marital problems, NeNe looks to cheer herself up---through plastic surgery." So Kim slept with a woman and NeNe got a nose job. Big deal, call it a day, keep it moving.

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This Week on TV (10/18-10/24)

 


(Make sure to check out TV Envy's Programming Schedule.)

MONDAY (10/18)

  • The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9 p.m.): "This Kandi is sweet---she journeys to Palm Springs to extend support to Kim, who's been invited to perform at a gay-circuit party." She wants to be there to laugh with Kim, not at her.
  • Hoarders (A&E, 10 p.m.): "A woman battling cancer has a difficult time with treatments because of the condition of her home, which is covered with rat feces and hair." And she thought it was the chemo that was making her feel nauseated.
  • Weeds (Showtime, 10 p.m.): "The rest of the Botwin clan attempt to move some product at a children's concert." It takes a lot of green stuff for parents to pay for those shows ... and to sit through them, too.

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This Week on TV (10/11-10/17)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (10/11)
  • 90210 (CW, 8 p.m.):  “Debbie applies for a job as an assistant to a very pregnant Jen.” She’ll do whatever it takes to stay on the show provide for her family.
  • House (FOX, 8 p.m.):  “A patient who can’t stop vomiting is also hiding secrets.” A few more trips to the toilet, and he’ll be ready to cough them up.
  • Castle (ABC, 10 p.m.):  “Castle posits time travel as a possible element in the murder of a mathematician shot by a 200-year-old bullet.” Having seen Timecop, I fully support this theory.

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This Week on TV (10/4-10/10)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (10/4)
  • How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.):  “When Ted turns down Barney’s offer for a building-design job, Barney tries to woo him with all of the seduction methods he uses on women.” This episode will launch the next chapter of the series: “How I Met Your Other Dad.”
  • Gossip Girl (CW, 8 p.m.):  “Dan is once again conflicted about his feelings for both Serena and Vanessa.” And once again, I’m conflicted as to why I’m still recording this show.
  • House (FOX, 8 p.m.):  “House and Cuddy go on a double date with Wilson and his girlfriend, Sam ().” House figured a night out on him could finally settle the whole “Your Girlfriend Was on the Bus Because of Me” awkwardness.

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This Week on TV (9/27-10/3)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (9/27)
  • House (FOX, 8 p.m.):  “House and Cuddy confront the workplace ramifications of their relationship.” If the show tanks after this pairing, it’s all on them.
  • Hoarders (A&E, 10 p.m.):  “A teacher takes her hoarding lifestyle into the classroom.” Some call that hoarding, others call that an oversized class.
  • Weeds (Showtime, 10 p.m.):  “To retrieve her kidnapped son, Nancy has a showdown with Cesar in a Skee-Ball museum.” The one with the most Chuck E. Cheese tickets in the end wins.

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This Week on TV (9/20-9/26)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (9/20)

Season premieres: Castle, Chase, Chuck, Dancing with the Stars, The Event, Hawaii Five-0, House, How I Met Your Mother, Lone Star, Mike & Molly, Rachael Ray, Rules of Engagement, Two and a Half Men

  • How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.):  “In the sixth season opener, Ted runs into Cindy (Rachel Bilson), whom he dated briefly—and who is also the roommate of his future wife.” He heard from a little bird (a.k.a. Twitter) that she wasn’t with Hayden Christensen anymore.
  • Chuck (NBC, 8 p.m.):  “Season 4 opens with Chuck engaging in a sweeping quest to find his mother (Linda Hamilton), all while keeping the rogue mission a secret from his sister.” The only clue he has to work with is the fading Polaroid picture John Conner gave him.
  • Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9 p.m.):  “In the eighth-season opener, Charlie this it’s time to cut back on his drinking.” His judge He also thinks it would be smart to film a PSA.

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This Week on TV (9/13-9/19)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (9/13)

Season premieres: 90210, Gossip Girl, The Nate Berkus Show, Oprah

  • 90210 (CW, 8 p.m.):  Season premiere. “A deadly earthquake strikes Beverly Hills.” This explains what happened to the Peach Pit.
  • Little People, Big World (TLC, 8:30 p.m.):  “Matt and Zach embark on a father-son road trip in an attempt to mend their broken relationship.” A reconciliation is as likely as the show being renewed.
  • Hoarders (A&E, 9 p.m.):  “A woman’s home is caving in from the weight of garbage piled up to the ceiling.” The good news? The cave-in created additional storage space underneath the house.

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This Week on TV (8/30-9/5)


 

MONDAY (8/30)
  • Kate Plus 8 (TLC, 9 p.m.):  “Kate and the kids board a train and travel to New York City for a day of sightseeing.” See Mommy on TV. See Mommy get her extensions fixed.
  • Lie to Me (FOX, 9 p.m.):  “A young woman’s disappearance leads to an investigation of crime in the pornography industry.” Heidi Montag’s been on the run ever since she stole her sex tape back from Vivid.
  • Dating in the Dark (ABC, 10 p.m.):  “The contestants don swimwear and frolic on a makeshift beach in the darkroom.” Note to self: Bathing suit can now be worn in dark rooms.

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This Week on TV (8/23-8/29)


 

MONDAY (8/23)
  • The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family, 8 p.m.):  “Amy’s friends and family forget about her birthday.” Everyone’s so wrapped up with her sister’s wedding to the oily beau-hunk.
  • Miss Universe Pageant (NBC, 9 p.m.):  “Global beauties compete in swimsuit, evening gown and interview categories at the 59th annual gala, hosted by and Natalie Morales.” It’s like Bret almost died and went to heaven.
  • Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 10 p.m.):  “A shooter aims for runners participating in the Boston Marathon.” Boston Marathon, biathlon—same diff!

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